


Garlic Prawn Pizza

by daisychain (seonghwazz)



Series: What Is This AU [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, In the Heights - Miranda/Hudes
Genre: Chaos, F/F, Found Family, It's a multifandom mess, M/M, Married Lams, Pizza, Sisters, Textfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonghwazz/pseuds/daisychain
Summary: lizard: what is so attractive about garlic prawnpegmemes: hold onpegmemes attached a file “why garlic prawn is superior to margherita”lizard: margarita charlotte schuyler.lizard: you typed a 7-page essay.lizard: about how garlic prawn pizza is superior to margherita pizza.lizard: how tf are you failing philosophy in school peggy
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Maria Reynolds/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler
Series: What Is This AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1926085
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	1. Garlic Prawn Pizza

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to the chaos. On today's episode, we have:  
> -Pizza Chaos  
> -Lams acting as Peggy's gay dads and attending her Parent-Teacher Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So I threw in In The Heights as well. This AU is the definition of absolute chaos. I love it.

**schuyler not skyler**

**Friday, 11th September**

**lizard** : @ **everyone**

**angie** : ?!

**pegmemes** : ?!!?

**lizard** : lmao peggy’s response was so gay

**lizard** : anyway

**lizard** : someone has to attend parent-teacher conference for peggy

**lizard** : both dad and mom are busy so they can't go 

**lizard** : i nominate angelica

**pegmemes** : i second that

**angie** : ha jokes on y’all

**angie** : mom and dad are busy because they’ve got a charity event that i’m attending as well

**lizard** : i mean i can cancel my date with maria but

**pegmemes** : NO YOU AREN'T CANCELLING THAT

**angie** : i have an idea

**_angie_ ** _ added  _ **_laurens_ ** _ to the chat _

**angie** : hi john

**angie** : are you free next tuesday?

**laurens** : uh yeah why?

**angie** : we need someone to go to the parent-teacher conference for peggy. you’re the solution 

**laurens** : babysitting how  _ fun _ and i gotta fly over too

**angie** : i’ll pay you

**laurens** : deal

**angie** : you can bring alex if you want

**laurens** : 🥺thanku

**pegmemes** : i’m telling everyone that john and alex are my gay parents

**laurens** : no❤️ i would never give birth to a mess like you❤️

**pegmemes** : :(

**angie** : apologize before i fire you and alexander from the job jonathan <3

**laurens** : i’m sorry angie

**angie** : :) see u on tuesday <3

**_angie_ ** _ removed  _ **_laurens_ ** _ from the chat _

**lizard** : why does angie exert her power of making everyone apologize every single goddamn day

**angie** : like i said you’re not intimidating enough

**lizard** : i can’t make people apologize but i can make people cave ;) with my puppy dog eyes ;)

**angie** : i’ve fallen victim to them too many times

**pegmemes** : “fallen victim”

**angie** : yes fallen victim 

**pegmemes** : this is more proof that angie is a reincarnated cowboy from the 19th century. i rest my case

**angie** : pls stop with the cowboy talk if you still want the pizza i ordered

**pegmemes** : shutting up. what did you order?

**angie** : garlic prawn pizza and a box of southern chicken bites

**pegmemes** : i love you so much ange

**lizard** : i will never understand you peggy

**lizard** : what is so attractive about garlic prawn

**pegmemes** : hold on

**_pegmemes_ ** _ attached a file  _ **_“why garlic prawn is superior to margherita”_ **

**lizard** : margarita charlotte schuyler.

**lizard** : you typed a 7-page essay.

**lizard** : about how garlic prawn pizza is superior to margherita pizza.

**lizard** : how tf are you failing philosophy in school peggy 

**pegmemes** : it’s fucking boring

**angie** : language

**lizard** : yeah language

**pegmemes** : whatever it’s boring as hell i should’ve dropped it

**angie** : pizza’s home! peggy’s stampeding down the stairs like a starved horse

**angie** : liza, where are you?

**lizard** : give me another five minutes i’m almost home!

**angie** : ok!


	2. Gay Dads

**schuyler not skyler**

**Tuesday, 15th September**

**angie** : PEGGY WAKE UP

**lizard** : YEAH WAKE UP PEGGY

**pegmemes** : bold of you to assume that i was still asleep

**lizard** : when’s your meeting?

**pegmemes** : three i think

**pegmemes** : alex and john flew in last night so 

**lizard** : great! are you dressed?

_**pegmemes** sent a photo _ .

**lizard** : who are you and what have you done to peggy

**pegmemes** : surprised that you didn’t have to tell me to wear something other than a hoodie aren’t you lizzie

**lizard** : very surprised 

**pegmemes** : john promised me baskin robbins if i didn’t wear a hoodie today

**angie** : john’s finally bribing you good for him

**pegmemes** : we love bribery 😻

**angie** : when are the gays picking you up

**pegmemes** : at one we going to have lunch first

**pegmemes** : i missed my gay dads so much 😿😿

**lizard** : it’s 12:30 go and get ready

**pegmemes** : mmm ok bye bye sisters

**lizard** : byeee!

**angie** : farewell soldier

**pegmemes** : bye cowboy

Peggy grinned as she set her phone down on her bedside table; she couldn’t wait to see Alex and John. Peggy pulled up her Spotify on her computer and started playing some jazz music. Around the third song in, her phone chimed again. 

**mess+gay dads**

**laurens** : PEGSTERS WE’RE WAITING OUTSIDE COME ON

**pegmemes** : YAY

**A.Ham** : PEGGY COME ON 

**pegmemes** : why is your name so official

**A.Ham** : WHY ARE YOU TEXTING YOU’RE NEXT TO US

“Yeah, why are you texting?”, John asked from the driver’s seat. “You’re literally right next to us, Peggy.”

“No, but seriously”, Peggy said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “Why’s your display name so damn proper, Alex?” Alex rolled his eyes, handing Peggy a licorice stick.

“I work in the government, Pegs”, Alex explained. “Jefferson saw my old DN and managed to convince G.Wash’s entire cabinet that I was in the position for the money.” Peggy laughed; Alex’s old display name had been “moneymoneymoney”, after the ABBA song. “Okay, A.Ham. That’s such an old-fashioned display name. You almost sound like a boomer.” Alexander, groaning, slapping Peggy on the shoulder. “You wound me, Pegs”, Alex whined. “You two are gonna have to act like my gay dads, okay?”, Peggy said. John snorted, turning into the parking lot of a McDonald’s. “We  _ are _ your gay dads, Peggy”, Alex reassured, as he got out of the car.

“I can’t believe that we’re getting McDonald’s”, Alex groaned, as the three of them trooped into the restaurant. “Oh shut up, Alex”, John chided. “You know you love your nuggets.” The three of them ordered (a few people recognized Alexander and asked for photos) and soon found themselves seated at a table, Peggy sipping from her slurpee. “What are we supposed to do at a parent-teacher talk?”, John asked. “I’ve never had to attend one as a parent.”

“As a gay dad”, Peggy corrected, mouth full of fries dipped in ice cream. “And well, I don’t know. Just answer the teacher when she asks you stuff. I’ve got no idea.” Alexander smirked. “G.Wash attended one of mine in my last year of high school. All they talked about was my ‘tendency for violence’”, Alex shrugged. “I mean, I  _ did _ get into a lot of fights. Maybe your teacher’s going to talk about your shitty Philosophy grades.”

“Hey!”, Peggy shrieked, stealing all of Alexander’s remaining fries. “Don’t even bring up philosophy. It’s boring as heck. Why do you need it? I should’ve dropped it while I could.” John handed Peggy a chicken nugget in sympathy. “Just try not to fail your classes”, John suggested. “I almost failed biology because they didn’t do anything about turtles, but got Alex to help me study. I barely passed.”

“You do love your turtles”, Alex giggled, finishing off his nuggets. “C’mon, we have a meeting to attend as gay dads!”


	3. We’re her surrogate gay fathers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of this installment! I love this so much it’s pure chaos.
> 
> Notes: Peggy and Sonny are 16 in this. Usnavi is 23, and Alex and John are 24.

The three of them piled into John’s Jeep and set off for Peggy’s school. John put on an R&B CD and had everyone in the car sing along at the top of their lungs, with the windows down. Needless to say, they got a lot of dirty looks. “Okay, we’ve got to stop now”, Peggy yelled, seeing her school building come into view. “I don’t want you guys to be banned from the premises.” John motioned for Alex to roll up the windows, which his husband did. “Oh my god, Pegs”, Alex gaped. “Your school library is  _ huge _ .”

“I never use it”, Peggy mumbled, knowing what was going to happen. “Don’t have time.” Alexander gaped, his eye twitching. “Give me your student card, then. I want to go.” Alex then launched into a ten-minute rant about how important books were, only stopping to get out of the car and greet one of G.Wash’s supporters. “-and that’s why you should lend me your student card”, Alexander finished, now sitting down on a plastic chair positioned in front of Peggy’s classroom. 

“Do you need water?”, John asked, genuinely concerned with the way his husband constantly shot off at the mouth. John didn’t mind him talking; he was concerned about Alexander because he didn’t know when to  _ stop _ .

“Nope. I’m perfectly fine”, Alex responds. “Peggy, do you have candy?” Peggy takes out a pack of licorice bootlaces from her pocket and wordlessly hands it to Alexander, who takes out and sticks an entire string of licorice into his mouth. The three of them sit quietly outside of the classroom, enjoying each other’s presence. Peggy hears her classmate finishing up inside- Sonny, she thinks? 

“Margarita Schuyler?”, Peggy’s teacher calls, as Sonny and his guardian leave the room. “Usnavi?”, Alexander exclaims, fist-bumping the man walking next to Peggy’s classmate. “Alex!”, Usnavi squeals, and the two of them hug. Sonny and Peggy stand by watching, completely and utterly confused.

“We’re good friends”, Alex explains to a confused John. “I buy coffee from his bodega. I gave Angelica the address?” Suddenly, everything clicks in Peggy’s mind. “You’re the one who serves awesome coffee!”, Peggy cried. “It’s really good!” Usnavi smirks. “I serve the best coffee in the whole of Washington Heights! Won’t you agree, Sonny?”

Sonny groans. “Yeah, yeah. Can we get home now? Peggy needs to get her conference done too.” Sonny fist-bumps Peggy and walks down the hall, Usnavi following close behind after Alexander promises to “bring the Schuylers and John to the bodega tomorrow”. 

Alex and John take a seat on either side of Peggy inside the classroom, acting as her  gay surrogate dads. “Hello, Mr and Mr Schuyler”, the teacher begins. “Mr Hamilton and Mr Laurens, actually”, Alex begins. “We’re not related to Peggy, we’re just attending in place of her parents and sisters. None of them could make it, so here we are.” The teacher looks astounded.

“Hamilton? As in treasury secretary Hamilton?” Alex nods. “Yeah, that’s me. So how has Peggy been getting on in her classes? I’ve heard that she’s failing Philosophy.” Peggy shoots Alex the dirtiest look that Alex has ever received (even dirtier than the ones that Jefferson gave him).

“Peggy’s doing fine. The only concern is Philosophy.” The teacher continues to talk about Peggy’s academic achievements, something that John’s not interested in. He quietly takes out his phone and sneaks a picture of Alex and Peggy and the teacher, sending it to the groupchat he shares with all his friends.

**chaos**

**Tuesday, 15th September**

**_laurens_ ** _ sent a photo _ .

**laurens** : alex fits the role of gay dad so well 🥺

**lizard** : omg they’re so cute together

**angie** : good job john you’re getting paid in turtle plushies

**laurens** : 🥺🥺🥺

**ibanghorses** : is no one going to talk about how smitten the teacher is with alex

**laurens** : shhh she knows he’s gay

**ouiouibaguette** : isn’t alex bi

**laurens** : SHHHHHHH

“-thank you for taking the time to come here, Mr Hamilton and Mr Laurens”, the teacher finishes, shaking both of their hands. “It was lovely meeting both of you.” Peggy heaves a sigh of relief. “That was fun. Thanks, gay dads!”

“Anytime, Pegster”, John replies, ruffling Peggy’s messy head of curls. “It was my pleasure to act as a surrogate homosexual father today. I’m more than willing to reprise the role.” Peggy grins. She loves hanging out with John and Alex.

“Nice photo that you took, John”, Alex compliments, as they walk back to the car. John and Alex are taking Peggy to get ice cream before going to the Schuyler mansion for dinner, Peggy motioning for them to hurry up. John blushes at the compliment. “Let’s not keep Peggy waiting. She’ll murder us.”

“BE GAY DO CRIMES!”, Peggy shouted, blasting finger guns into the air. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!


End file.
